I remember.

I have so much blogging to catch up on, but today something is just on my heart and I have to let it out.

We had a short, 3 day trip to California this past weekend, and went to the wedding of some very dear friends. The wedding was of course beautiful, and as I sat there next to my husband, my heart overfilled with memories of the day it was me and him exchanging our vows.

Check out this gorgeous bride! Thank you again so much for including us in your most special day, we love you guys!

 

( The above photo was taken by Araxi, www.araxiphotoblog.com )

The day began chaotic as ever, we left at 5 in the morning to make the use-to-be 6, but now 8 with a little one in tow, drive to Cali. We rushed around, trying to figure out who would drive with who,  how I would have time to do my hair and makeup, etc. We arrived at the ceremony, dressed up for the first time since, oh geez, since who knows when! We took our seats next to our family and sat joking with each other in our usual manner. The usual processional of weddings began, and it just hit me, it almost took my breath away the emotions that came flooding in. Seeing the mother of the bride (who looked beautiful by the way) walk down so proud, watching the bridal party come down the aisle arm in arm and hearing the same song we had played during our processional, watching the mother of the bride stand and look onto her first born daughter, with tears streaming down her face, as she happily walked hand in hand with her father down the path that would be her last as a single woman. Seeing her then fiance's smile as he awaited his bride. Oh God, that's when I lost it. The second I laid eyes on the bride, I remembered.

I remembered that special day that was mine, just 14 short months ago, and I remembered exactly how I felt. I will never forget the feeling that I had at this exact moment.

 

As I clutched my dads arm tightly, waiting behind the doors that would soon open to our beautiful wedding ceremony filled with all of our closest family and friends, I shed a quick tear, trying SO hard not to lose it and get myself into a full on ugly-faced cry (you know the kind I am talking about). I knew that was my last moment with my dad as his "little girl." I knew that my dads heart must have been so filled with pride, but at the same time must have had an ache so deep, knowing he was giving me away in a few short minutes. I waited to hear the first sounds of my wedding march, At Last by Etta James. I had butterflies, no, full on BIRDS in my stomach I was so incredibly nervous. I thought of my mom, standing out there, waiting for my dad to take the seat by her side, and I am sure she shed a quick tear right along with me, just as I am sure she shared that same ache in her heart.

The beginnings of the song began to play, and I clutched my dads arm even tighter. I reminded him to make sure I didn't fall down the steps, and made a quick promise to myself that I would not cry walking down the aisle. I remember the overwhelming emotion that I felt when that door opened and I felt the outside air hit my face, I took a deep breath and told myself to savor every single second. I remember every step I took, making our way from behind that door to our destination at the end of the aisle, I remember the love I felt in my heart for my dad, and the smile I had on my face when I locked eyes with my soon-to-be husband.

 

I remember how my heart was both bursting with excitement and joy, and heavy with sadness as my dad gave me away. I will treasure that hug for the rest of my life.

 

I remember the look on my parents faces, hearing us exchange our vows.

 

That look and those emotions, will forever be ingrained in my memory.

I remember seeing my sister looking on as I handed her my bouquet. I remember feeling a tinge of guilt, as if I was moving on from our life of sisterly fun and our memories of it being just the two of us. That was quickly replaced by knowing that deep down, she could not be happier for me as I was about to enter this new chapter in my life, and how excited she was to have a brother in law.

 

I remember the way that my voice cracked, reciting my vows to my husband, promising him my unconditional love and a lifetime of happiness.

 

I remember the silly look on his face that he had promised me months prior he would make, just so that I would not spend our entire ceremony bawling.

 

I remember hearing the sweet sound of his voice as he read me his vows, promising me a lifetime of laughter and vowing to always keep things young and fresh. For the record, so far he has kept up on his end of the promise!

 

I remember it all, I remember it so well. I remember both of us anxiously waiting to be pronounced husband and wife for the first time, the words we had been waiting to hear for three long years. I remember hearing the cheers of everyone, knowing that they all sincerely shared in our excitement.

 

I remember never being so happy as I was at that moment, on that incredible day, July 12th 2008.

I will always, always remember, as long as I shall live.

Thank you to our friends, for letting us share in such a memorable day. Thank you for helping me to remember. My wish for you is that you will always remember those moments of your special day as well.